As you think about how to handle your unplanned pregnancy, you need to know you have options. One of those options you may not have considered is adoption. Today, adoption is very different than it was even a couple of decades ago. Let’s sit down and talk about the pros and cons of making an adoption plan.
Deciding If Adoption Is Right For You
In today’s world, there are many different ways to parent. Adoption is one way for you to be a parent without the day-to-day responsibilities. You may have heard or someone may say to you, “You are giving your child away.” Nothing can be further from the truth. Loving mothers would never “give” their children away. They make a plan that is best for their child and themselves.
Adoption, like every option for your unplanned pregnancy, is not an easy decision. Like everything else, it needs to be carefully considered. Ultimately, it is a process that requires courage, selfless love, and a lot of trust. This is your journey and only you can decide if adoption is right for you.
You control the process
Unlike before, birthmothers (and fathers, if available) are in complete control of the adoption process. You decide who the adopting couple will be, what type of home life you want for your child, and how much contact you wish to have in the future. There isn’t a right or wrong adoption plan. It must be the one that works best for you.
Current adoption laws require adopting families to go through careful background screenings, home studies, and interviews to make sure they are fully able and equipped to provide a safe and loving home for your child. In addition, the adopting families pay for all costs associated with the adoption. You are not required to provide anything financially.
Types of Adoption
There are three general types of adoption. However, you can tailor the process to best suit your needs.
As a birth parent, you choose how involved you want to be in your child’s life. Open adoption means you and the adoptive family share identifying information such as full names, phone numbers, and addresses. You can have access to one another through face-to-face meetings, phone calls, texts, and letters. Sometimes, the birthmother and adoptive mother set up a private Facebook Group so that members of both families can share with one another.
In the end, you decide what is comfortable for you, the child, and their family. You will have the opportunity to be a part of the child’s life in whatever capacity is best for everyone.
Some women who choose adoption prefer to have no communication with the adoptive family or child. To move on with their lives, they feel this is the best choice. You will still choose the adoptive family, but you’ll have no interaction with them before or after the birth.
Your identity remains completely anonymous in a closed adoption. You have total privacy.
A semi-open adoption means the communication you do have will be through a third-party adoption professional. You choose how much information and contact you would like to share and receive. Usually, the adoptive family and birth family share first names only.
The terms can be negotiated and set by you and the adoptive family. This option allows you to have a carefully defined relationship with your child without the ongoing connection of open adoption.
We encourage you to make an appointment with one of our client advocates to get more information about the option of adoption. We can discuss with you the pros and cons, give you agency referrals, and help guide you along the way. No matter what you choose for your pregnancy, we are here to support and encourage you. Never feel you are alone!